Small Talk
by Kali1
Summary: The gang of Smallville get together in order to discuss plot ideas.


**_Small Talk_**

_By Kali_

_{Written under the influence of Russell Stover French Chocolate Mints.}_

The characters of Smallville get together to discuss future plot ideas. 

Clark: We need less villain of the week storylines, and more.... More.... (Looks over at Lana) 

Lex: Romance? 

{Clark blushes} 

Pete: We could bring in some other superheroes to spice things up, like... 

Chloe: You're going to suggest Wonderwoman, aren't you? 

Pete {shrugs}: What can I say, Chloe? You read my mind. 

Chloe: No, more like your... 

Lana: Chloe, maybe that is not such a bad idea. We could have Batman appear on the show. 

Whitney (Lanas boyfriend): Yeah, that'd be cool. Then he could beat Clark up. 

Lex: Um, Whitney. I'm not sure where you parked your brains, but, in case you didn't know, Batman would be a future ally of Clark. Which of course, would make him one of my future worst enemies. So, maybe we ought to not have him on the show. Besides, Clark is invulnerable. Or did your pea-size brain forget about that? 

Whitney {Glaring at Lex}: What you seem to be forgetting, Lex, is that Clark is vulnerable around the shiny green stuff. 

Pete: "Shiny green stuff?" 

Whitney: What else am I supposed to call it? They haven't labeled it Kryptonite yet! 

Pete: Meteor fragments? 

Lex: Okay, Whitney. You're right, Clark is vulnerable due to the green meteor fragments. But you're deluded if you think Batman and Clark will ever end up battling each other. 

Whitney: Oh really? {Shoves the "Dark Knight Returns" graphic novel in front of Lex's face.} 

Lex: Uh... 

Whitney: Never, say never, Baldy. 

Lana: Batman is so... 

Clark: What? 

Lana, Chloe, and Martha together: Dreamy. 

Clark: Lana!?... Mom?!? 

Jonathan: Martha?! 

Martha: Sorry Jonathan, Bruce Wayne is just so drop-dead handsome in his civies. 

Jonathan: What am I, chopped liver? 

Martha: You're my husband, and I love you. But, a girl has to have some secret desires. 

Jonathan: Martha, he's Clark's age!? At least, I think he's Clark's age. 

Martha {shrugs}: What can I say, I was Lana in a previous life. They do say, after all, that you are as young as you feel. And when I look at pictures of him, I feel... 

Jonathan {crushed}: Martha... 

Pete: A man in a cape and tights, dreamy? What's up with that? 

Chloe: Um, Pete. Let me give you a hint. Do you like Wonderwoman's costume? 

Pete: Damn straight! 

Chloe: Why? 

Pete: Oh. 

{Clark leans over to Chloe and whispers to her.} 

Clark: Do you think that Lana would like me better if I wear tights? 

Chloe: Possibly. 

Clark: Anyway, perhaps we should hold off on having Batman on the show. {The girls look dejected.} We could bring on some new love interests for Chloe and Pete. 

Chloe: Cool! Of course, ideally, this new guy wouldn't be as "cool" as my last boyfriend. 

Pete: Clark, man, I knew there was a reason I liked you! 

Lex: As far as other ideas go, we could kill my dad off. 

Jonathan: Great idea, Lex! 

Lionel: I heard that, Lex. Why I ought to... 

Lex: Oh, put a sock in it, Dad. It's not like you are scheduled for that many episodes this season anyway. 

Tom Wopat {Coming out of nowhere}: I could make a guest appearance as a long-lost Kent cousin. 

Jonathan: Huh? You must be joking?! 

Tom Wopat: We could sing. 

Jonathan: Hop on board, cous. 

Martha: Uh, Jonathan. I don't think that the Kent's had any other living relatives. 

Jonathan: Don't worry hon, this show is supposed to be a little different. 

Tom: Great! I'll go park the General! 

Clark: Who is? 

Jonathan: That's my cousin. My cousin... um... Thomas. 

Clark: No, not him. Him! Is that?.... {Clark begins to ask, pointing at an approaching figure.} 

Chloe, Lana, Martha: BATMAN! 

Clark: How? 

Lana: I invited him. 

Clark: Why? 

Lana: We were told to bring our story ideas to the meeting. So, I told him to meet us here. 

Lionel: Lex, I ought to disown you for this. 

Lex: Go ahead. You'd be doing me a favor! 

Lana: Hello, Batman. My name is Lana Lang, and I'd like to welcome you to Smallville. {Lana extends her hand, but, Bruce walks right by her, and straight over to where Lex and Lionel are standing.} 

Bruce: {Glaring at Lionel.} Speak. I demand it! 

Lionel: {Looks aghast at the stern young man} Huh? Are you nuts? {Bruce grabs him roughly by the arm.} Well, okay if you insist. Testing 1... 2... 3. 

Bruce: It is you! I'd recognize your voice anywhere, RIDDLER! I'm taking you back to Arkham, where you belong! 

Lionel: But, I'm not! {Bruce starts dragging him off.} 

Lex: Bye, Dad! I'll write to you! In six years or so. 

Jonathan: Now, that is a Kodak moment. If only I had my camera on me. 

Lana: Come back anytime, Batman! 

**Disclaimer:** This silly, little story was done purely for fun, and no profit was made from it. The characters in it, belong to their respective creators/owners. Whomever they may be. 


End file.
